Debates

I think we can all agree that the last debate can be summed up as some crazy old dude yelling "Damn kids, get off my lawn!." Which we probably should have predicted.

So, some predictions for tonight's epic adventure between Bible Action Barbie (with new moose fur outfit and convertible Hummer!) and Joe "I like trains" Biden:

• A combination of Barbie's terrible recent "interviews" and obvious complete and utter inability to form a complete thought un-prompted by cue-cards, has caused the expectations of her performance to be lowered to such a level that if she manages to actually get onto the stage, fully dressed, without drooling too much, she'll "win" the debate.
  
  
• Joe Biden must take off his coat, find a puddle to cover with it, bow courteously, offer her a handkerchief, light her cigarette, hold the door for her, buy her dinner (and not expect anything out of it), present her a "Ms. VP 2008" sash and commemorative bouquet of (white) roses, and then back quietly off the stage without answering a single question. If he does anything else, he's a big meany meanypants, liberal elitist who hates women, puppies, and especially hates Joe Sixpack, who he obviously isn't even though his name is Joe.
  

Could we come up with a dumber way to pick our politicians? I don't think we're trying hard enough, the current system is obviously far too dignified.